Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Heart Rest

My heart feels as though I need to stop and rest. I just don't feel I can do life today. Have you ever felt that way? After such traumatic events, or a death, you just feel as though you can't do life. It isn't that you don't want to but you are just to the point of exhaustion. Feelings of loss, bewilderment, confusion, shock and my list goes on. I know I have to move forward and yet I feel that I need rest. More than anything I need heart rest. It is almost unbelievable that we have lost Mom Henson in such a tragic way. I would never have dreamed of her dying from a car accident. Was she awake? Did she feel anything? Oh, God I pray that she did not. I have to believe you protected her and kept her safe in the midst of the tumbling and rolling and when she came to she had your peace surrounding her. For two and a half days we stayed at UAB in Birmingham, never leaving, praying for a miracle and then realizing the miracle would come in heaven. For three days straight I didn't sleep. We had wonderful staff. The nurses were wonderful and I met the sweetest lady in the waiting room who gave me one of her blankets. I attempted to sleep on the floor but with no success. When your mother-in-law dies you grieve, you grieve for your husband, the children, grandchildren, your in-laws. You grieve for much more than yourself. All of that grieving is exhausting and almost more than one can handle. I'm thankful for our friends at New Life, Mount Olive, my GGs and our family who have been supportive. Most of all I am thankful for you God. How do people get through tragic life things without you God? How?

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