Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Heart Rest

My heart feels as though I need to stop and rest. I just don't feel I can do life today. Have you ever felt that way? After such traumatic events, or a death, you just feel as though you can't do life. It isn't that you don't want to but you are just to the point of exhaustion. Feelings of loss, bewilderment, confusion, shock and my list goes on. I know I have to move forward and yet I feel that I need rest. More than anything I need heart rest. It is almost unbelievable that we have lost Mom Henson in such a tragic way. I would never have dreamed of her dying from a car accident. Was she awake? Did she feel anything? Oh, God I pray that she did not. I have to believe you protected her and kept her safe in the midst of the tumbling and rolling and when she came to she had your peace surrounding her. For two and a half days we stayed at UAB in Birmingham, never leaving, praying for a miracle and then realizing the miracle would come in heaven. For three days straight I didn't sleep. We had wonderful staff. The nurses were wonderful and I met the sweetest lady in the waiting room who gave me one of her blankets. I attempted to sleep on the floor but with no success. When your mother-in-law dies you grieve, you grieve for your husband, the children, grandchildren, your in-laws. You grieve for much more than yourself. All of that grieving is exhausting and almost more than one can handle. I'm thankful for our friends at New Life, Mount Olive, my GGs and our family who have been supportive. Most of all I am thankful for you God. How do people get through tragic life things without you God? How?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday; Are We Shining Our Lights?

It's another Monday. Am I shining my light today? Raining. Storms are threatening. My allergies are terrible or do I have a cold? I have a bit of a headache. Am I shining my light? My body is somewhat achy. Yet, I feel happy. I think my light is shining. Unexplainable happiness. Why? What could bring on such happiness?

Much is going on in life at the moment. A lot of busy "stuff" and some things that I'm not even discussing publicly and yet I feel happy. My light is shining. My husband loves me, my family is wonderful, and my friends are the best. Peace...could that be the answer? I feel the peace of God inside my soul. Deep within where it doesn't make much difference if there is sunshine or rain outdoors. Deep within my inner being there is a feeling of lightness, peace, and joy. My light is shining.

You can smile when it is a dreary day, when you are facing difficult circumstances and when you are perhaps too tired to do anything else. Happiness doesn't always require great energy, but feeling angry, depressed, and irritated at the world does. We all have those days where we feel those feelings. It's okay. However, I choose for it not to be my lifestyle. I want to lift those up around me. After my friends leave my presence I hope we will feel just a bit closer to God and that we are making a difference in the world.

People are often observing us, even when we aren't thinking they are. Are we shining our lights? Do others see in us what we claim to have? Rather, do they see the one we claim to have within us? Do people see Jesus in my life? Is my light shining?